Marigold

ignore the wreckage on the shoulder i cross the border into new jersey where a dotted line from my antenna says may no fantasy hold my head up

just another day in the polar vortex do i do my thing & just keep my head down? or do i eclipse back to atlanta no may no fantasy hold my head up nor may no memory fold my head in

cuz i don't know how but i’m thinking it'll all work out cuz i don’t know how but i'm thinking it'll all work out

in the night when i feel your absence like a dotted line across my shoulder like a silver vision across the desert may no memory hold my head up

now the endless night & i lift my head up where beyond my window a thread of light lives with manhattan island on the horizon no! may no memory hold my head up nor may no fantasy fold my head in

cuz i don't know how but i'm thinking it'll all work out cuz i don't know how but i'm thinking it'll all work out cuz i don't know how but i'm thinking it'll all work out cuz i don't know how but i'm thinking it'll all work out

drink water good posture good lighting good evening you're mourning the loss of a feeling a part of a process of living a vision to do what you're here to you're crying not sleeping i love you good morning i love you you're singing i see you you're smiling & lying your hair in a spiral drink water good posture good lighting good evening good morning good morning good morning i see you

you left gleaming a green rectangle around the door please be careful what you wish for

i whisper to myself then i’m spinning it half around like an echo a faraway sound

saying be good to me be good to me

marigold in the garden my heart is out in the garbage i am being an alarmist

cuz for as far as i see is terrible territory & there's no one to reassure me

so it would be good to talk for my sanity now do what you feel like you gotta do but be good to me

when you walk away you still exist & i feel good knowing it if it hurts me why'd i rely so much on in the first place if it's happening then why's this feeling taking over me can i believe in the me before i knew you beautifully can i believe in the me before i knew you beautifully can i believe in the me before i'm lost on yesterday can i believe in the me before i knew you beautifully

no drugs & alcohol today i wanna remember everything we talk about i wanna feel light moving in everything you say but part of me is caveated out like maybe certain circumstances are permissible maybe i just could & you could just look the other way

is it so wrong i wanna feel good i wanna feel good is it enough now just to want to even if you mean it i wanna feel good

let's build us a new house for to live you fortify the outside & i got the interior i got the materials we're gonna need right here ya & it's weird to think i had it always when manifestly i am the same as i ever was i think the difference this time is that i could just walk away

now all things rushing out i wanna feel good i wanna feel good is it enough now just to want to even if you mean it i wanna feel good

no drugs & alcohol tonight i follow my shadow up & out the skylight i could see a outline settled in the grey

scared to know i'm scared to know you got me talkin in the dark saying anything i can damnit i'm scared to know i’m scared to know but i need to know!

then on the bad long drive home i encountered an animal scared stiff in the lights of the van & i swerved & i flailed in the road then i was screaming i was shouting in the dark saying anything i can damnit im scared to know im scared to know but i need to know!

.so.

i'm in this moment & i can't see past it i'm in this disaster i'm in this traffic & it keeps on going but it keeps me asking what's in this moment?

i woke up grinding my teeth with you next to me just smiling my friend through hairpin bends you do upend my island

through infidel skies through asphodel eyelids one eye at a time i can't wait to go home to be there when the new world comes

i woke in startling light then it became night just as suddenly i'll be as true as i can through this circumstance but its tiring

through zinfandel eyes through infinite aisles one mile at a time i can't wait to go home to be there when the new world comes to forget where the old world was

that night when i lifted my head up & i was seeing what was trembling there on the edge of my restless eyelid on the tip of the horizon's lash on the lip of the collapsing letter in the lap of the confusing moon i'm reduced to an estranged illusion i'm consumed by all the shit in my room well & maybe i could pick my room up carve a path on my moonlit floor through the colors i adorned my body with in the ritual of life i adored but nowadays i usually just get up put on a sweater from the day before like you said it's got to get better i wear my shadow like a uniform

& i'm torn right through divided right in two

so well i do align my library by the colors on the spine of my books when i'm looking for resolution but there's wreckage everywhere i look & there's bramble scratching at the window & there's silver shining on the thorns i could have sworn the moon was singing to me strung in a phase so strange & torn but now the stars look fake & strung up & the colors on my floor are worn & the hues on my body are muted in the shadow of my uniform

& i'm torn right through divided right in two i'm lost & i'm losing the brightest light i knew i knew

is life kicking up dust right now? has life given up for you right now as well? o what is life giving us? i wake up & feel totally the same i woke up the same as yesterday with no news of any kind the long morning, the wide afternoon & then night could be coming soon too but when it finally does it's endless

but it's an honor to feel this way to feel the color of the longest day cuz it's a shadow that many know & well it's feeling pretty bad to me but i don't think it goes on endlessly but the horizon's lifting away from me & it seems endless

when this is over when this under a foot of water hold me forever hold me forever when this is under when this is over hold me forever

when this is over when this under a foot of water hold me forever hold me forever when this is under when this is over hold me forever

i'll go if you want alcove in the dark yellow marigold all folded up in the front

i'll go to the west where my family is where emily is not i'll go where i want

my friends in the east they bring me peace but they need release i'll go if you want

little insect upside down & trying to right-side-up itself felt my by right foot tapping squirming mechanism & it spins & tips vertical but in my alien eye i can see he is beautiful

well i love my neighbor i love his determined behavior if it were me i probably might have just stayed there

mid-sized opossum in front of my house dying collided with a vehicle driving it out through the lightning she falls down softly in the middle of the lane incoming & its clearly incumbent on me to run out her & do something so i approach her there im suddenly squirming i'm scared & i'm tryna do right but i guess i desecrate everything

i love my neighbor i loved her courageous behavior a ray now shines out of her mouth & it points back to nature

morning gosling echoing wide around me a V migrating down easy to a better climate a startling shot rings out & now the geese are all screaming the marksman’s adrenaline's up as he stands up smiling

well i love my neighbor but don't understand his behavior i love that bird but i don't ever want to take her

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